Monday, June 14, 2010

..till it happens to you.

I know what I said
Was heat of the moment
But theres a little truth in between the words we've spoken
Its a little late now to fix the heart thats broken
Please don't ask me where I'm going
Cause I don't know
No I don't know anymore

It used to feel like heaven
Used to feel like may
I used to hear those violins playing heart strings like a symphony
Now they've gone away
Nobody wants to face the truth
But you wont believe what love can do
Till it happens to you
Till it happens to you

Went to the old flat
Guess I was trying to turn the clock back
How come that nothing feels the same now when I'm with you
We used to stay up all night in the kitchen
When our love was new
Oooh love I'm a fool to believe in you
Cause I don't know
No I don't know
Anymore

It used to feel like heaven
It used to feel like may
I used to hear those violins playing heart strings like a symphony
Now they've gone away
Nobody wants to know the truth
Until their hearts broken
Don't you dare tell them
What you think to do
Till they get over
You can only learn these things
From experience
When you get older
I just wish that someone would have told me
Till it happens to you
Till it happens to you
Till it happens to you

I absolutely love this song by Corrine Bailey Rae.  It's gorgeous... and it's a lovely song on my breakup playlist.  John and I mutually agreed that we were not doing long distance (bad experiences in the past), and that we'd much prefer to be good friends than try a relationship that is doomed from the moment I move and end up hating each other.  I need to be on my own for a while (y'all I've never been single since 15. not. good.) and I need to figure myself out.  In the past I would have given up everything I had worked so hard for to make a relationship work, but that mentality is so juvenile and it would only hurt myself.  Everything I have ever done has been to become a doctor.. and I'm not letting anything prevent me from getting there.
I know John and I will be great friends.  We have to be.. but it may mean some critical time apart before we actually reconnect as friends.

This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.. and I'm scared shitless, but I'm also very excited.  And these upcoming posts may be a little emo (or a lot? ah.) but bear with me.

3 comments:

Marcie said...

Hang in there. Medical school is so trying and takes a lot of personal sacrifice. Things will work out they way they are supposed to. When I was in law school, I went through something similar. They saying "If something is meant to be it will come back" always gave me comfort.

Marcie

kakesler said...

Good luck! I agree with Marcie...it probably would have been really hard doing long distance AND med school. I think you're going to have an AWESOME experience in NOLA...med school, being single, discovering yourself.

Akili said...

*e-hugs*

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